First came to my attention in The Book of Heroic Failures, who said this about it:
The Worst Phrasebook
Pedro Carolina is one of the all-time greats. In 1883 he wrote an English—Portuguese phrasebook despite having little or no command of the English language.
His greatly recommended book, The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English, has now been reprinted under the title English As She Is Spoke.
After a brief dedication:
We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the youth. at which we dedicate him particularly.
Carolina kicks off with some ‘Familiar Phrases’ which the Portuguese holidaymaker might find useful. Among these are:
Dress your hairs.
This hat go well.
Undress you to.
Exculpate me by your brother’s.
She make the prude.
Do you out the hairs?
He has tost his all good.
He then moves on to ‘Familiar Dialogues’, which included ‘For to wish the good moming’, and ‘For to visit a sick’.
Dialogue 18 – ‘For to ride a horse’ – begins: ‘Here is a horse who have bad looks. Give me another. I will not that. He not sall know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered. Don’t you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is unshoed. he is with nails up.’ In the section on ‘Anecdotes’ Carolino offers the following humorous tale, which is guaranteed to enthral any listener:
One-eyed was Iaied against a man which had good eyes that he saw better than him. The party was accepted. I had gain, over said the one-eyed; why I se you two eyes. and you not look me who one.
It is difficult to top that, but Carolina manages in a useful section of ‘Idiotisms and Proverbs’. These include:
Nothing some money. nothing of Swiss.
He eat to coaches.
A take is better than two you shall have.
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
There is also the well-known expression: The dog that bark not bite.
Carolina’s particular genius was aided by the fact that he did not possess an English-Portuguese dictionary. What he did possess were Portuguese—French and French—English dictionaries through both of which he dragged his original expressions. The results yield language of originality and great beauty. Is there anything in conventional English that could equal the vividness of ‘To craunch a marmoset’?
The full book is in the link up above.
