Illuminati-R-Us

by **KLA2** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:13 pm

Steel balls.

I put in a Humphrey Bogart fan club card, and I get

by **troubleagain** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:45 pm

a Backstreet Boys fanclub card.

I put that back in and get

by **Squee** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:13 pm

N'sync-ed.

I put in a blank CD and get...

by **troubleagain** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:50 pm

a mix cd of the very best elevator music.

I put in some country-style pork ribs and get

by **pmcolt** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:58 pm

...chicken-fried steak.

I put in a sack of potatoes and get...

by **troubleagain** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:53 pm

a huge pile of fluffy smashed taters.

I put in some butter and sour cream and get

by **Squee** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:34 am

A baked potato.

I put in some midol and get...

by **troubleagain** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:30 pm

a really bad case of the un-cramps.

I put in 3 pads of sticky-notes and get

by **Squee** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:30 pm

A lot of reminders.

I put in some gummy bears, a digital camera, and a microwave and get...

by **pmcolt** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:11 pm

...pictures of molten brown gummy goo.

I put in some marshmallows, chocolate, a campfire, and a digital camera and get...

{edit} Incidentally, if you ever melt Starburst in a microwave, and it runs all over the microwave tray, don't try to clean it up by hand before it cools. Let it cool, then scrape it off. You'll save yourself some first-degree burns.

by **troubleagain** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:03 pm

pictures of sticky brown goey squares that taste really good (the pictures, that is).

I put in Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers and get

{also, if you ever microwave an egg, make sure it's not in its shell, and that you've punctured the yoke}

by **KLA2** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:03 pm

A visit to the Monty Python Argument Clinic. (" Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke.") :lol:

http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~ebarnes/pytho ... clinic.htm

I put in a dinosaur egg, and I get

{Also, if you microwave a horse, be sure to remove the yolk.} :lol:

:P

by **pmcolt** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:16 am

...a Tyrannosaur that wrecks your house and then goes on a rampage through downtown.

I put in an encyclopedia salesman and get...

{Additionally, if you microwave a poodle, be sure to check frequently and take it out once it's dry.}

by **Squee** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:31 am

A door to door vaccuum salesman.

I put inchapstick, some old photos, and a notebook and get...

{incedentally, if you microwave gummybears on a glass plate, they melt together to make one big gimmy disc...}

by **troubleagain** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:48 pm

a really waxy scrapbook

I put in all my cats and get

by **KLA2** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:16 pm

A Purrrfect Day!

I put in a blond lawyer, and I get

by **pmcolt** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:53 pm

...a summons for jury duty in the case of U.S. v. Ditzy Blonde #1, Ditzy Blonde #2, Ditzy Blonde #3, and Jealous Brunette. The case is expected to last eight months, and the judge is so fed-up with people dodging jury duty that he won't accept "I'm not a US national" as an answer.

I put in my New Year's resolutions and get...

by **Squee** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:55 am

A pair of novelty glasses that are in the shape of 2008.

I put in an empty box and get...

by **Enzo** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:36 am

... an angry note from the trash collector that says, "please recycle."

I put in the hooves of a horse, some food coloring, and sugar and I get...

by **troubleagain** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:16 pm

a dessert that jiggles.

I put in a box of colored pencils and a drawing tablet and get

by **KLA2** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:52 am

A lifelike sketch of your pretty pink [spoiler]made you look. :P [/spoiler]

I put in a Lee Valley catalogue, and I get

by **troubleagain** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:25 pm

an LL Bean catalog.

I put in this poor wilting plant and get

by **Squee** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:12 pm

A nice healthy plastic one.

I put in a pen, some stick-it notes, and a handfull of plastic beads and get.

by **KLA2** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:37 pm

A deed to Manhatten Island, in writing, that you can stick on your fridge.

I put in seasons tickets for the Maple Leafs, and I get

by **troubleagain** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:58 am

a set of pads, skates and a stick.

I put in football pads and helmet and get

Illuminati-R-Us

The Mystical Illuminati Vending Machine

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