Man Accused of Touching Girlfriend

[Мастер]

That's what the headline said. Sounded a bit silly to me.

Then I realized it said, Man Accused of Torching Girlfriend.

[Enzo]

All the time I do that

yesterday a story in the paper was headlined something like School doing promo, but I saw school doing porno.

[Superluminal]

These days, I wouldn't be surprised if they did do porno.

[pmcolt]

If the school did do porno, I hope it would be better than the $1 chocolate bars we used to sell when I was in high school. (Then again, high school promo porno would probably be illegal, wouldn't it?)

That happens to me quite often when reading headlines. Though it doesn't help that whoever handles the local TV news channel's graphics has apparently never heard of proofreading or spell-checking.

[Enzo]

Our local TV station once did a story on our local chapter of the "Autobahn Society" out saving nature somewhere. I called the station to point out the man's name was not Autobahn, and the anchorwoman said "I wasn't sure..."


How good does $1 porno have to be?

[Superluminal]

How bout this little tidbit from a small farming town newspaper reporting on the contest results from the county fair: Best hoer-Jane Smith.

[hippietrekx]

I really dislike anchor people who can't pronounce things they're reporting on correctly. They've so been teleprompted. I think that's why I prefer the newspapers.

[Enzo]

The Autobahn anchor actually had graphics on screen spelled that way. I guess you could say she read it correctly anyway.


Sooooo, Mr.Smith, I understand your daughter is a hoer...


We had another one, where the same local anchor was reporting on SOuth Africa after Nelson Mandela took over as president back when. She announced that "Nelson Mandela today appointed the first African AMerican ever to serve in a cabinet position in SOUth Africa."

I called her, and asked if he really appointed an African AMerican, and she assured me it was a true report. She didn't get it. I asked was she sure he was an American. DING, the light came on. "Ohhhh. Well I didn't want to say 'black,' you see." Why not? No good answer there.

[Мастер]

We had another one, where the same local anchor was reporting on SOuth Africa after Nelson Mandela took over as president back when. She announced that "Nelson Mandela today appointed the first African AMerican ever to serve in a cabinet position in SOUth Africa."

I called her, and asked if he really appointed an African AMerican, and she assured me it was a true report. She didn't get it. I asked was she sure he was an American. DING, the light came on. "Ohhhh. Well I didn't want to say 'black,' you see." Why not? No good answer there.

I guess they could call him an African African.

Is a white guy from South Africa who moves to the US an African American?

[Lance]

I guess they could call him an African African.

Is a white guy from South Africa who moves to the US an African American?

My friend André from Namibia now lives in Canada. I'll try to get his take on that. But he actually misses apartheid, so it might be an interesting conversation.

[Мастер]

But he actually misses apartheid

There are probably parts of the US that would be very much to his liking then.

[pmcolt]

Autobahn

This was a news story about the society of folks who pick up litter along the German roadways, right? Good people and wonderful nature lovers, those members of the Autobahn Society.

I called her, and asked if he really appointed an African AMerican, and she assured me it was a true report. She didn't get it. I asked was she sure he was an American. DING, the light came on. "Ohhhh. Well I didn't want to say 'black,' you see." Why not? No good answer there.

For that matter, is a "black" person who's lived all of his life in America really "African" in any meaningful sense? This is exactly the sort of confusion that our politically correct, creative euphemisms for racial and ethnic backgrounds creates.

I propose that we come up with new names for people of various skin tones. Maybe food-related. People run the gamut from "Dark Chocolate", up through "Cinnamon", "Velvet Cake", and "Crème Brulée" all the way to "White Bread". Racial discrimination sounds so much more pleasant that way, doesn't it? Plus it makes it easier to tell whether we're talking about someone's skin color or their nationality.

(People who use "nationality" to mean "race or ethnicity" confuse me, too. I get asked all the time, "What's your nationality?" I always answer truthfully, "American.")

[troubleagain]

I'm pretty much white-bread colored myself. Not quite sour-cream or milk colored, but very danged close. :( :wink:

[Мастер]

I'm pretty much white-bread colored myself. Not quite sour-cream or milk colored, but very danged close. :( :wink:

White-bread as they come...

[troubleagain]

You can tell when I've been out in the sun, because I start to look like rye-bread--white with little brown seeds (freckles).

[umop ap!sdn]

How would you describe me? I'm somewhere between cookie dough and peanut butter.

[troubleagain]

You sound delicious! ;)

[Enzo]

I'm just a big cream puff, I do 'eclaire.